John - 12/17/2007, 11:34 PM - Curse news
The Campbell's Chunky Soup Curse, the most frightening curse that can be uttered in Catonese, admitted a measure of defeat following Donovan McNabb's successful return from injury. McNabb's return was punctuated by a 10-6 victory over the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday.
The Curse noted, "It was a defensive victory for Philly. I mean, McNabb is kind of a vestigial appendage on that offense."
Curse followers are aghast to see McNabb alive, especially after his uneventful annual November injury. Said Curstographer Tony Bruno, "I thought McNabb was playing for the Saskaskatoon Yellow Hatchets or something of the Canadian League."
In related news, after missing two days worth of practice, fellow Curse alum Ben Roethlisberger was on the field against Jacksonville.
Curse experts are beginning to question whether the Curse's pursuit of a record number of potential victims (eight) has caused the Curse to fall off the trail of Curse veterans such as McNabb, Roethlisberger and the now robo-armed Kurt Warner.
Even worse, Larry Johnson, running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, is threatening to return.
"Look," said the Curse, "I've done well. Vilma, gone. Todd Heap, gone. Larry might as well be gone."
Long-time Curse veteran Kurt Warner said, "Don't let this McNabb situation distract you. Extended play for McNabb only means more chances to inflict a heinous career or life-threatening injury."
Warner continues to play with his frightening robot killing arm. Said Warner, "Look at my situation. I'm healthy, sure, but I am playing for the Arizona Cardinals? Really."
McNabb commented, "Well, once I'm done stinkin' this joint up I'll probably be Kurt's back-up."
Upon hearing of the possibility of a Warner-McNabb pairing in Arizona, Pentagon defense planners drew up proposals for forcibly removing the state from the union. An unnamed source said, "We're considering returning Arizona to Mexico and letting them deal with the aftermath of a Curse double-whammy."
2007 appears to be the first when a significant number of potential Curse victims play all 16 games.
"Stick around," said the Curse.