John - 10/17/2006, 12:31 AM - Curse News
The Chunky Soup Curse is presently denying any involvement in the Arizona Cardinals historic disaster on Monday Night Football.
"I was there as a spectator in section 23-C," said the Curse. "Nothing more."
The Curse pointed out that Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher was in on a key forced fumble that turned the game late. "If I were involved with this game, I would have done something kinky, like have Brian break his arm while pulling the ball from Edgerrin James."
God confirmed that Chunky played no hand in the defeat: "I agreed to send Kurt Warner to football hell, and indeed he is burning in the flames."
God also confirmed that he does not travel to Arizona due to outstanding child support payments.
Governor Janet Napolitano added, "I have lived in Arizona for years. I have ruled the state with an iron fist. I promise you this: there is no God in Arizona."
Chunky Soup played coy when asked about the plan to send Warner to Arizona. "No comment," it said.
God noted, "As long as Kurt doesn't kill himself -- which is a real trial, I'll admit -- he should avoid going to real hell once he's done with football hell."
The Chunky Soup Curse has a bye week next week.
Said the Curse, "I plan to spend the week recuperating physically, watching game film. Get ready for a good stretch run. You guys know I'm all about the run to the playoffs, baby!"
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