John - 10/9/2006, 11:28 PM - Curse News
As week five of the NFL season comes to a close, it is clear that the Ben Roethlisberger is the worst victim of the Chunky Soup Curse to date. Chunky has so fatigued Ben that he now throws te ball like a Special Olympian doing shotput.
Oddly, Donovan McNabb seems to be out from under the Curse, despite his continued endorsements.
Science offers an explanation.
Dr. R. Elbert Kung, of the mathematics faculty at Villanova University, said, "Clearly, Chunky is committing an all-out blitz to kill Roethlisberger. Chunky simply lacks the resources to continue attacking McNabb."
However, medical doctors believe that it is possible McNabb has developed a full immunity to the curse, following years of suffering.
Dr. Mahmet Oz, of the Campbell's Institute for Chunkiology, notes, "After nearly a full decade of endorsing CHunky Soup, Donovan no longer feels the effects of endorsing the most dangerous soup since New York built its swer system."
Curse watchers are still waiting to see how the curse plays out. Many observers note that the Curse often waits until November to assault McNabb.
Roethlisberger, at press time, remains alive.