John - 9/18/2006, 11:59 PM - Curse News
Following Pittsburgh's disastrous 0-9 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars, a professional football team so crushed by the football gods that they play games in an abandoned lot next to an old factory, Steelers coach Bill Cowher had some choice words.
"These are the days when blaming a cursed endorsement deal feels better than admitting the truth," said Cowher.
Ben Roethlisberger looked near dead -- a state commonly associated with players who have endorsement deals with Campbell's Chunky Soup, the most dangerous soup currently not a signator to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.
Said Ben, "Uhhhhh.... guh. Ew. Ew! That -- HUH! Blllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Roethlisberger then vomited all over the press corps.
Roethlisberger played the game with a reported temperature of 103 degrees.
Cowher was quick to note, "Don't blame the fever or the soup. How about an unwillingness to run the ball?"
Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio was disappointed.
Said Del Rio, "You know, we played in that game, too."
Pittsburgh sports personality Tunch Ilkin immediately responded, "What a jagoff!"
Roethlisberger is still reported alive, although this is a developing story.
In other news, so is Donovan McNabb still alive.