Cowher: cursed soup doomed us

John - 9/18/2006, 11:59 PM - Curse News

Following Pittsburgh's disastrous 0-9 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars, a professional football team so crushed by the football gods that they play games in an abandoned lot next to an old factory, Steelers coach Bill Cowher had some choice words.

"These are the days when blaming a cursed endorsement deal feels better than admitting the truth," said Cowher.

Ben Roethlisberger looked near dead -- a state commonly associated with players who have endorsement deals with Campbell's Chunky Soup, the most dangerous soup currently not a signator to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.
Said Ben, "Uhhhhh.... guh. Ew. Ew! That -- HUH! Blllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Roethlisberger then vomited all over the press corps.

Roethlisberger played the game with a reported temperature of 103 degrees.

Cowher was quick to note, "Don't blame the fever or the soup. How about an unwillingness to run the ball?"

Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio was disappointed.

Said Del Rio, "You know, we played in that game, too."

Pittsburgh sports personality Tunch Ilkin immediately responded, "What a jagoff!"

Roethlisberger is still reported alive, although this is a developing story.

In other news, so is Donovan McNabb still alive.


Recent articles

  1. Dancing with the Soup: the Victor Cruz Story
  2. New NFL picks website (shameless self-promotion)
  3. Is the entire NFL being taken down by the Curse?
  4. Richard Sherman risks life and limb for cursed endorsement deal
  5. Has the Curse resurfaced with Victor Cruz?
  6. Crazy British people rename Big Ben
  7. Curse denies any involvement in Roethlisberger incidents
  8. Will Colts face the Curse of the Crappy Fans?
  9. Vilma, the last soup in the bowl
  10. Has the soup destroyed Tomlinson's brain