John - 8/17/2006, 5:26 PM - Curse News
Chunky Soup, the most violent entree on the planet, scored a surprise post-game victory after the Steelers-Cardinals game this week.
Ben Roethlisberger is reported to have injured his thumb. The Steelers have said that Roethlisberger was barely nicked by Chunky during practice this week.
Team doctors have advised Roethlisberger to go into hiding and to immediately stop endorsing Chunky Soup.
Chunky Soup has reportedly changed its plans this week, and plans to follow Donovan McNabb against Baltimore this Thursday. Observers are fearful that in the guise of Ray Lewis, Chunky Soup might actually murder McNabb.
In related news, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck is still upright, despite endorsing Chunky earlier this year.
New NFL commissioner Goodell told the press he expects Chunky to be on its game. "Come back in November. That's Chunky gears up for playoffs and starts whiping super stars of the face of the earth like a man with napkin after eating some delicious Campbell's Chunky Soup. Mmmmm, mmm, violent. Yeah."
SINGLE ARTICLE: http://www.chuckysoupcurse.com/?nav=articles&category=single&id=29
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