Curse News

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Chunky Soup fires a warning shot at Matt Hasselbeck

John - 6/15/2006, 1:36 PM - Curse News

Unmistabkeable.

Matt Hasselbeck developed tendonitis in his foot. These are precursors of the sort of physical breakdown that accompanies endorsing Campbell's Chunky Soup.

The Curse is on.

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Ron Mexico declines Chunky Soup deal

John - 6/15/2006, 12:47 PM - Curse News

Ron Mexico, quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, declined an endorsement deal from Campbell's.

Said Mexico:

"The only Chunky Soup you'll ever see from me will be in my discharge after my VDs flare up again."

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Rooney: accident was an accident

Bill - 6/14/2006, 3:35 AM - Curse News

Steelers' owner Dan Rooney announced today that Ben Roethlisberger's accident on Second Avenue in Pittsburgh was part of a pre-emptive measure-gone-awry to keep Roethlisberger from participating in the Chunky Soup commercial.

In a written statement, Rooney stated that he didn't want the Chunky Soup curse to take out his star quarterback, one which had helped bring the Steelers franchaise its fifth Super Bowl victory, and prevent the team from making a run at a sixth.

According to eye-witnesses, shortly before the accident, a black cargo van with a spoiler and a red stripe across the side that was driven by a black man with a mohawk, tore around the corner of Grant Street onto Second Avenue in the direction of the Tenth Street Bridge and the Armstrong Tunnels. The van pulled up along side Roethlisberger to get him to pull over. Roethlisberger veered across the center line and into an oncoming car. The rest is history.

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Chunky Soup hit and run: Ben Roethlisberger is lucky

John - 6/13/2006, 2:18 PM - Curse News

June 8, news that Ben Roethlisberger, star quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, will be filming a Chunky Soup commercial on June 13.

June 12: "Four surgeons work for 7 hours to repair facial fractures" to fix Ben Roethlisberger's face after Chunky Soup, like Zeus blinding Tiresias, attacks him with a car, smashing Ben's motorcycle and sending him flying.

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