Curse News

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Could Chunky Soup play for the Steelers?

Bill - 8/19/2006, 12:01 PM - Curse News

It's an idea that no one saw coming.

Is it possible that the Pittsburgh Steelers franchaise could be the first professional sports organization ever to sign a contract with an evil spell to play for them?

The buzz grew around the NFL offices Friday and Saturday sparking much controversy among top executives and other teams.

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Curse scores late win after all

John - 8/17/2006, 5:26 PM - Curse News

Chunky Soup, the most violent entree on the planet, scored a surprise post-game victory after the Steelers-Cardinals game this week.

Ben Roethlisberger is reported to have injured his thumb. The Steelers have said that Roethlisberger was barely nicked by Chunky during practice this week.

Team doctors have advised Roethlisberger to go into hiding and to immediately stop endorsing Chunky Soup.

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Curse "not in game shape"

John - 8/13/2006, 12:10 AM - Curse News

The Campbell's Chunky Soup, the deadliest soup in the westernized world, showed up this afternoon in Glendale, AZ, but most NFL observers say the Curse just wasn't in game shape.

On the field were three NFL players tied tightly to the Curse: Kurt Warner, godparent of the Curse; Ben Roethlisberger, its second attempted murder victim; and Adrian Wilson, a long-time instrument of the Curse's cruelty.

Ben Roethlisberger played the Pittsburgh Steelers' first series only. On that series, the Curse showed how far out of game shape it is. Acting through Adrian Wilson, the Cardinals safety who originally brutalized Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, the Curse wiffed while trying to sack Roethlisberger.

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Ben: Before and After

Bill - 7/13/2006, 12:59 AM - Curse News

Ben Roethlisberger gave his first public appearance to ABC's Good Morning America after his motorcycle accident just weeks ago.

You can see Ben in this before and after photo courtesty of WTAE television (the right image being the "after" image).

You can see in the "after" image the fear of the Chunky Soup Curse that still lingers in the face of Roethlisberger.

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Vegas changes odds on Curse

John - 7/11/2006, 12:46 PM - Curse News

Las Vegas bookies appear to be changing their odds on who will be the next victim of the Campbell's Chunky Soup Curse.

Early odds following Chunky's vicious assualt on Ben Roethlisberger were on Chunky Soup attempting to finish Roethlisberger off.

However, as Roethlisberger is no longer eating breakfast through a straw, the odds makers are adjusting.

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Craig Biggio hit by pitch, curse or no curse?

Bill - 7/9/2006, 3:45 AM - Curse News

Craig Biggio was hit by a pitch thrown by Josh Kinney of the St. Louis Cardinals Saturday, his 279th hit in his career and is only eight shy of tieing the all-time hit-by-pitch leader Hughie Jennings.

Biggio, to date, has yet to star in a Chunky Soup commercial, and he has expressed no interest in doing so should an offer be made. "Why the hell would I do that?" states Biggio, "I've got something going for me here and I don't to do anything to fuck that up. I've been in baseball almost 20 years and I have nothing to show for it except being hit by a fucking baseball damn near 300 times. Starring in a Chunky Soup commercial could be throwing that all away."

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