Victims

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A Soup to a Kill: the Reggie White Story

John - 9/28/2006, 3:26 PM - Victims

The earliest victim of the modern Chunky Soup Curse was Reggie White, defensive end with the Green Bay Packers during their most recent Super Bowl runs. White took the endorsement in 1997, initiating the current campaign by Campbell's to destroy the NFL one spoonful at a time.

The results, as can be imagined, were awful. Soon, Reggie White, once the most feared defensive lineman in professional football, fell off the map like the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria sailing into that ocean full of sea serpants.

In 1997, White began displaying the physical deterioration now known to be a side effect of endorsing Chunky.

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Chunky Soup and the NHL's Mats Sundin

John - 6/29/2006, 11:38 PM - Victims

One of the more interesting things about the Chunky Soup Curse is that it is not limited to the NFL.

Exhibit A: Mats Sundin of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Now, it's now surprise the NHL is a great racket for Campbell's. As Canadians continue to pretend global warming isn't bothering them, they need hot food to pretend that it's still cold in Canada.

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The Mark of the Bettis: 666 and Chunky Soup

John - 6/15/2006, 1:17 PM - Victims

In the second wave of Chunky Soup victims, we witness Jerome Bettis. Bettis, like Urlacher, Strahan and McNabb, is a member of the Chunky Soup class of 2002, the largest group affected by the Curse so far.

Perhaps because he was old, enfeebled and really fat, Bettis was the first to fall victim from the class of 2002.

Despite playing in 13 games in 2002, Bettis was hobbled all season long and suffered from several nagging injuries.

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Don't dabble in Chunky: the Brian Urlacher story

John - 6/14/2006, 10:28 AM - Victims

Brian Urlacher is considered the ideal study in the effects of small-time Chunky endorsement sustained over years.

He did one major campaign in 2002, and was rewarded with a shoulder stinger. His stats have tailed off since.

He has continued to dabble in Chunky. In 2004, he ended up with a series of leg injuries that hobbled him.

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Scared Strahan: Chunky slays a Giant

John - 6/14/2006, 9:56 AM - Victims

In January 2002, Michael Strahan finished up the 2001 season (yes, the NFL is goofy like that) by collecting the NFL single season sack record.

It's a tough record, because once it becomes obvious a guy is on a tear pass rushing, the offenses compensate easily with blocking assignment toward that guy.

In September 2002, Michael Strahan, at the pinnacle of his profession, did the one thing no sane player should ever do: he endorsed Campbell's Chunky Soup.

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When soup attacks: the Ben Roethlisberger story

John - 6/14/2006, 7:47 AM - Victims

From week three of his rookie season on, Ben Roethlisberger was undefeated. Week after week, it was like watching a heavyweight prize fighter go out and just win. Win ugly, win pretty and just win.

Then came the AFC Championship game. After years of heartbreak with born losers like Kordell Stewart and Neil O'Donnell at QB, the Steelers were poised to defeat the quasi-evil New England Patriots and advance to the Super Bowl.

Then Ben Roethlisberger did the damnedest thing a person can do: he did a Chunky Soup commercial.

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