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Pennsylvania bans sale of Chunky Soup

John - 6/20/2006, 2:50 PM - Curse News

While visiting Pittsburgh this morning, Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell declared a state-wide ban on the sale of Campbell's Chunky Soup.

"No state has suffered more than the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania," said Rendell.

The ban also extend to advertisements of CHunky Soup. The state legislature is currently hammering out plans for a $30 million FM signal jamming systems to also block Chunky Soup ads originating in neighboring New York, Ohio, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland and West Virginia.

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Quarterback Sneak

Bill - 6/15/2006, 11:50 PM - Curse News

Ben Roethlisberger has been released from Mercy Hospital of Pittsburgh under the cover of darkness last night.

Such a secretive escape was necessary as to slip underneath the radar of the Chunky Soup Curse as it might have been sleeping.

The hospital confirmed this morning that Roethlisberger has indeed been released from the hospital and is now at home resting and, for the moment, safe from the evil clutches of the Chunky Soup Curse.

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Chunky Soup fires a warning shot at Matt Hasselbeck

John - 6/15/2006, 1:36 PM - Curse News

Unmistabkeable.

Matt Hasselbeck developed tendonitis in his foot. These are precursors of the sort of physical breakdown that accompanies endorsing Campbell's Chunky Soup.

The Curse is on.

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The Mark of the Bettis: 666 and Chunky Soup

John - 6/15/2006, 1:17 PM - Victims

In the second wave of Chunky Soup victims, we witness Jerome Bettis. Bettis, like Urlacher, Strahan and McNabb, is a member of the Chunky Soup class of 2002, the largest group affected by the Curse so far.

Perhaps because he was old, enfeebled and really fat, Bettis was the first to fall victim from the class of 2002.

Despite playing in 13 games in 2002, Bettis was hobbled all season long and suffered from several nagging injuries.

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Ron Mexico declines Chunky Soup deal

John - 6/15/2006, 12:47 PM - Curse News

Ron Mexico, quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, declined an endorsement deal from Campbell's.

Said Mexico:

"The only Chunky Soup you'll ever see from me will be in my discharge after my VDs flare up again."

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Don't dabble in Chunky: the Brian Urlacher story

John - 6/14/2006, 10:28 AM - Victims

Brian Urlacher is considered the ideal study in the effects of small-time Chunky endorsement sustained over years.

He did one major campaign in 2002, and was rewarded with a shoulder stinger. His stats have tailed off since.

He has continued to dabble in Chunky. In 2004, he ended up with a series of leg injuries that hobbled him.

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